Jan 17th

An unconventional self-portrait

This is a self-portrait without a face - instead of features, it's built from a pattern I carry on my skin. Painting it larger felt like a way of turning something small and private into something I could stand in front of and actually see. The pinks and light oranges aren't decorative choices. They're the colours of where I am right now - reaching for expression, for lightness, for something close to acceptance.

Texture woven into the fabric

Cross-stitching has always had a three-dimensional quality that most people miss in a finished piece. Every stitch sits slightly above the fabric, and the thread never lies quite the same way twice - it catches and settles differently with every cross, sitting just above the surface rather than flat against it. I wanted to bring that same unpredictability into paint: each X shape here is built up differently, so no two ever sit or catch the light in exactly the same way.

New birthday tradition

The title 'Jan 17th' marks my birthday. Every year, I'm planning to create a new version of this painting to mark how I feel, where I am in life, and how my art changes over time.

It's impossible to paint the same shape twice

I'm planning to paint this piece again every year, letting it shift as I do. It's the repetition that makes a difference visible - the more I paint it, the more variation I tend to add. Each X shape holds multiple colours woven together, built up to catch the light as you move past it. The brushwork shifts too - sometimes smooth and controlled, sometimes loose and gestural.